Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
