I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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