I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
