You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
