Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
