so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
