also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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