life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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