Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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