Your tits are I can't wait for
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
