Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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