is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
