Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
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Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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