I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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