I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
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you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"