I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
