youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
