so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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