Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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