i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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