he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
why do cheetos always look like penises
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
