Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize