dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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