that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She said her name was "party"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
