Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
we're so committed to being not committed
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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