shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
