matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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