Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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