she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize