she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
