wat bout pragnant strippers??
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
