i need an iv and a liver transplant
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize