he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
