margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
