Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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