i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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