the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
