Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
handjob tips. give me some.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
