I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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