He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize