she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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