In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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