I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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