I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
