So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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