I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
