Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you didnt know i had herpes?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
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