Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
