White coat. Heels.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
