I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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