I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
