Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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