If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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