You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize