whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
