And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
