I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She made me pour olive oil on her.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
