I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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