i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
