I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize