You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
